Sacrificing Common Sense On The Altar of Ethnicity- By Mark A Israel

You can get to an ATM point smiling but you're likely to leave with a frown on your face. One of the reasons the Automated Teller Machine was introduced i believe was to decongest the banking halls and to make transactions easier and convenient. But when it takes an Atm-FirstBank Atm actually-as much as 10mins to serve a customer, and service ceases every 30mins and you've to wait for another 5mins, there's bound to be long queues and frustrated faces.

Confronting An Insurgency With Sticks And Stones

If criticism is a profession in Nigeria, it will probably be the most lucrative. This is because the government never gets tired of the barrage of attacks directed at it, it keeps on creating an atmosphere for even the smallest of critics to strive.

There was a mutiny yesterday. Soldiers at the Maimalari barracks opened fire on the convoy of their commanding officer to protest the daily killings of their colleagues in the battle ground and incessant delay in payment of allowances. 

Nigerian Blogs and Complete Disregard for their Followers

I watched a video that circulated on major Nigerian blogs yesterday, where a young girl was buried alive and stoned to death. They claimed the girl was one of the kidnapped school girls. I doubted the claim but I was appalled by the barbarism. You see, I hate black market journalism. And I believe, even as blogs, these sites owe their followers a duty to always inform them and not spurn falsehood just to get traffic directed to their sites.

Conversation between me and my cousin

Conversation between me and my lil cousin
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(She walks into the room singing Davido's Aye)

Her: .......she no want designer....she no want Ferrari, she say na my love o!........

Me: Don't you want designer?

President Jonathan is right.Nigeria is not broke, By IsraelMark Ademola

Before now, I could bet my one month stipend that Nigeria was broke. Not even prime minister Ngozi Okonjo Iweala’s reeling out of imaginary and concocted statistical bullshit could make me believe otherwise. After all, that’s what she’s paid to do; lie to Nigerians.

It’s a very easy thing to do.  Our Harvard trained and highly overrated Madam Ngozi is good with stats. Her knowledge of economics may be a bit exaggerated but, prime minister Ngozi is smart. I’ll give it to her. She understands that, in a country with an embarrassingly poor literacy level, big grammar is all she needs to shut us up.

Mr President, I Need An Easter Present,By Mark Ademola Israel

Dear President,
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have bothered writing you; you won’t read the letter anyway. Even if you wanted to, you can’t. This is because I’m not Obasanjo. I’m also not El Rufai who ruffles feathers.

I’m not in any way close to Nigeria’s top columnists in terms of quality articles. So, my letter can only be published in my blog as well as my Facebook pages. Put together, it may be read by, Let’s say 200 people, and that’s if I’m lucky.

So, Mr. President, I won’t blame you if you fail to reply; it’s probably because you didn’t see it.

Why am I writing you a letter you’ll never read? It’s simple, Mr President. We are in the era of open letters. An era born by  President Obasanjo’s letter to you. You replied the letter as promised, but Mr president, I couldn’t read your letter to the end; I got bored along the way.

I remember, as a kid, that the best time to ask for a present without getting something like, “will you shut up? You don’t know anything, yet you’ve the mouth to ask for…..” as reply was during the festivities.

So, Mr President, In the spirit of Easter, I want to ask you for a Present. It’s not much. It’s something you can do.

I want you to pretend. Yes, Mr president, pretend to give a damn!

You know, I felt insulted when I learnt you visited Kano for a POLITICAL RALLY just 24hours after at least 75 Nigerians died in Abuja park blast. You didn’t go to Kano to commission a health facility or a road-you chose, instead, to dance and merry while over 70 families and the nation at large mourned.

What kind of a leader are you sir? You couldn’t even pretend to care, even if it’s just for a week?

I’m certain you do not know much about the streets. I’m not referring to those in Asokoro in Abuja or Ikoyi in Lagos or perhaps Wellington Bassey in Akwa Ibom.
I’m referring to the real streets. In these streets, the air is polluted with generator fumes, frustrated
graduates compete for menial jobs, policemen harass the same people they’re meant to protect
etc. Over 120milions Nigerians live on this street; they feed on less than 160naira per day. They’re the reason you’re called President! Would you pretend to give a damn about them?
I live on this street too and I want you dare to feel our pain.

Although, you’re the President of all Nigerians, I’m not asking for this gift on behalf of all Nigerians. I’m really concerned about the 120milion people who live on my street.

-Mark Ademola Israel
@Ademola_israel
israelmarc@ymail.com

This article was first published in Boltupdates

The frustrations of an NYSC official – By Israel Mark Ademola

Nigeria is a country that boosts of a large quantity of very frustrated people. I’m a member of this association and so are you. But why are we frustrated? Let’s look at it this way: You wake up in morning, wanted to take your bath but the tap is not running. You managed to get water from a nearby well, good for you. You remembered you need to press your clothes but alas! There’s no light. In fact, you’ve not seen your bulb lit for some days, yet you pay your bills. It’s only fair you get the service you paid for, but of course that word ‘fair’ does not exist. We deleted it from our national dictionary.