My Encounter With Bribe Taking Soldiers

Time was 6:03am; Place, Zaria road check point close to 7up factory, Kano.

"You dey make call for check point abi?" He roared.
I was holding a book on my left hand. My phone was on the right, and I had earpiece on. But I was not talking; just staring at my phone. So this soldier must be talking to someone else. It can't be me - Maybe the driver beside me. 

As If he was possessed, he snatched my phone from my hand - the earpiece flying off my ear - and handed it over to his colleague who sat behind the barricade. The driver and I looked at each other, almost spontaneously, in bewilderment. You were not making call, or were you? Asked the driver in Hausa. Ba waya ne ke ba. Walahi browsing ne ke yi - I was not making call. I swear i was only browsing I protested. Of course we all knew - me, the driver and the soldier - I was not calling.
I came down from the cab and urged the driver to move on. By now, the soldier who seized my phone was busy with other vehicles. I decided to talk to his colleague instead. "Excuse me sir! I was not making any call. . ." I said. He looked at me as If I were an object requiring critical study.

"You dey press phone for check point and you say you no dey make call. Wetin be the difference? You know IED?"

"Yes..."

"Wetin dem dey use on am? No be phone? No be people like you dey bomb us? You dey speak English..."

I decided to examine him too. I looked at his right breast to get his name. It was not there. I think it was hidden by his bullet proof vest.
His rifle was across his thighs. He held notes on his left hand. . .now I know the subject of my harassment I told myself. This soldiers want me give them Kola. No way!
There were more than ten men apart from me. Each of them begging the soldier to collect his token. Their offense ranged from overloading to carrying of wood. Never knew wood carrying was against the law. When did our soldiers start arresting traffic offenders?

"Sir, your colleague accused me of making a call. That's not true. You can check my call log. And If I wanted to detonate explosive you won't have the time to seize . . ."

"What do you mean? You dey use. . ." He stopped abruptly and chose to stare at the book I was holding instead. I think that really scared him because he just handed me my phone and said: "abeg carry your trouble go."

The book was 'Long Way To Freedom'

This write was first published on my Facebook page on 27th November, 2014.